You Think Them Cuddly, But I Think Them Sinister (Untitled Goose Game)

A Commission for Aleph Null.

What is a mob to a king? What is a king to a god?
What is a god to a goose who don't believe in anything?

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. (Oh shit, it would appear that a goose has taken over the blog. I’ll try to fight him with the best of my abilities, but I’m not) Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack!

Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quaaaaaaaaaaack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack, Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack; Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack.

Quack Quack Quack Quack: Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack:

            Quack Quack Quack Quack?

            Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack?

            Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack?

Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack? Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack; Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack; Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack; Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack! Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (Neil Cicierega), Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (Keiko Nobumoto), Quack Quack Quack (Tom King), Quack Quack Quack Quack (JM DeMatteis). Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quaaaaaaaack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (no, he didn’t).

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (mostly due to his decision to use them as a transition from Goliwog apologia to why Grant Morrison is a shit) Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack. Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack.

(Although, consider the case of Gladstone Gander. At once a figure of comedy and tragedy, Gladstone is the luckiest duck in the world. He loves his lucky, truly he does, but the cost of that luck is that people view him more as a resource than as a person. He is forever trapped within the idea. That he is lesser than his unlucky cousin [Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack] and his rich, inexplicably hard working billionaire uncle [Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack] because he’s a lay about who would rather let his luck do the work than do the work himself. And yet, he cares about his family. He cares about those close to him and wishes only the best for them. Sure, he’s a dick sometimes, but who isn’t [Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack]?)

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (Why shouldn’t I commit) Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack!!!!

Quack Quack Quack; Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack, Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack/Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack--Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack--Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack: Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack, Quack, Quack Quack Quack, Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack.

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (I suppose I should give my thoughts on the game. Erm… I haven’t actually played it. Look, I thought it was going to be on Steam like every single other Mac game. Evidently not, since it’s an Epic Games exclusive. That’s not to say I won’t play the game, in fact I’m planning on doing so before I post this. It’s just that I came up with the idea for the post as I was about to buy the game and felt the urge to write the post as soon as possible.) Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack! (Ok, so I've played the game now and it's a lot of fun to be a horrible goose.) Quack Quack! Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack!

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack, Quack. Quack. Quuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

(Well that was rather rude of him.)