So it goes. (Wild Horses)

Wild Horses is, to put it bluntly, mediocre. Mediocrity is inevitable with a show like Cowboy Bebop where they experiment with style, form, and narrative. And it’s not like there hasn’t been other mediocre episodes in the past (Bohemian Rhapsody, for one). But the brand of mediocrity Wild Horses deals in is ultimately counterproductive to actually being able to write anything inspired by it. There’s nothing to draw from the episode. The characters are one note, uninspired, and rather dull. The animation is extremely low budget (there’s one shot of the Bebop that’s so badly animated, you can see the cell outline in the shot). And there’s no implications or ideas to explore or embrace.

Sure, the image of the space shuttle juxtaposed with the Swordfish has the potential to be delightful, but the story doesn’t go full in with the sheer levels of barminess implied by the juxtaposition of modern technology and future tech. There’s the implied theme hinted at that the old ways of doing things can help with the new, but the episode likewise doesn’t draw on that theme, opting to instead languish around in the deserts of Earth, which, as established in previous episodes, there’s nothing to do.

There is, of course, the issue of Earth. Earth has, ultimately, been left to die. Typically in works of Science Fiction, there are stories of the Human Race going out into the stars. But usually, these stories nonetheless frame the Earth as the central hub of humanity. But in Cowboy Bebop, Earth is essentially a ruin, a relic of an old era left in the dust in favor of more interesting worlds. There are many places like that in the world today. Once upon a time, Rome was the center of the world. Then England. Now look at them: ruins left to decay and die in their fester. Sure, the English ruin is currently trying to take down everyone with it, but it’s been dead for a while. Some would say the world is haunted by that ruin the way it isn’t by others. That all the political problems of the modern age can be traced back to the English Civil War between to rather nasty sides. New life was built upon its post-civil war ashes. But that old monstrosity calling itself England still lurks throughout the world.

The empire died, but its ghost still remains. At times, it feels as if science fiction writers want the return of the empire. Maybe not consciously, but there are stories of colonies in space, of barbarians that need to be pushed back for the sake of “The Federation” or whatever its being called. They have no background beyond conquest and control. And they only see to conquer the human race and show how better they are than them. They are so unlikable, they practically deserve to be exterminated. And at the center of it all… the Earth.

Which makes Cowboy Bebop’s notably uninterest in such things all the more interesting. For all that Wild Horses is a dull story, it’s a new type of dull: the dullness of mundanity. Not that mundanity is inherently dull (there is a reason why David Lynch’s The Straight Story is the best Star Trek: The Next Generation movie). But in the case of Wild Horses, it very much is. It’s largely a look at the middle moments of getting a spaceship towed juxtaposed with an attempt at capturing a bunch of jerks who justify their jerkishness with the language of social justice twisted into being about gaining more power for themselves.

Considering what I talked about before, it’s perhaps fitting that they’re a hacker group. A bunch of tech nerds who are unprepared for playing against someone who adapts to their attempts at pwning One could argue that the current predicament the world is in is because of a bunch of nerds obsessed with pwning others. Specifically, the guy behind Brexit is very much into those, some of the people who got Trump elected president like Steve Bannon got their bread and butter at riling up angry video game nerds to harass female creators and critics for being female, and also Mark Zuckerberg.

That’s not to say that people can’t have interests, but maybe don’t be a dick about those interests and argue that people who don’t share them ought to be thrown into a cell and executed via rather distasteful means that are highly gendered. Wild Horses is, of course, not interested in that. It’s more about the moment to moment action than the implications gained through watching it in 2019. But time changes all things. It gives weight and meaning to things that didn’t exist beforehand. The future, ironically enough, was not theirs to see.

Que Será, Será…

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Time-travel is impossible, because the time traveler has changed. (Speak Like a Child)

From The Psychotronic Video Guide Seventh Edition by Michael J Weldon and Joseph P Craigson III:

Asteroid Blues

(Paramount, 2071) D: Marcus Walters S: Joe Pan Fue, Lisa Clark P: John Matinez

A woman (Mariana Lopez) and her drugged up boyfriend (Jon Smith) have discovered a mountain of drugs and attempt to sell it. This neo-noir has an air of melancholy typically unseen in most films of this age. Lopez’s eyes tell us so much that the relatively weak script by award winning writers Joe Pan Fue and Lisa Clark. Also stars Luke Smith (no relation), Jonathan Jones, and Steven Weldon.

Ballad of Fallen Angels

(1979) D/S/P: Jason P Oscar

A surrealist take on the noir genre that switches between different layers of reality, dream, and fiction. A bounty hunter returns to his home town to find the mob has taken over. Scenes are missing dialogue, color, and visuals. Three restorations have been attempted since the release in 1979, though a complete work print has been found earlier this year and is expected to be released sometime next summer by Orion.

Black Dog Serenade

(Warner, 2001) D/S: Arthur Jones P: Mary Jones

A queer noir tale set in the 1970’s and 50’s about an one armed detective chasing after an escaped convict with the partner who betrayed him to the mob. The film ends as many noirs do with the crime being avenged, though the guilty ultimately are not completely punished. A surprisingly masculine film within Mary Jones’ producing filmography, though sensible considering it was a passion project for her identical twin brother, Arthur. Stars John Hurt, Jarred Harris, Tim Roth, and Ben Affleck.

Bohemian Rhapsody = Gateway Shuffle

Boogie Woogie Feng Shui

(Warner, 2052) D: Joe Marx S: Alan Moore P: Warren Jonas IV

Perhaps more interesting than the film itself, a riff on The King in Yellow done rather poorly, is how the film came to be. Three years after comics writer Alan Moore died, a group of teenagers found a script they claim was written by Alan Moore (though it lacks his iambic tone and quality writing) in basement of a house they were house sitting. That the script was supposedly found in America makes this story even more dubious, though fitting considering Moore’s career began with an act of con artistry of his own. For the next couple of years, the script changed hands and producers until it was finally released, ironically, by Warner Brothers. It stars John Jones, Geoff Snyder, and Mary Jane Palmer. Archival footage of Moore can be seen in the background of one of the shots, much to the dismay of the Moore estate. Rumors abound that Grant Morrison funded a lawsuit against the producers shortly before release to remove Moore’s name from the project. Obviously, it was unsuccessful.

Brain Scratch

(Miramax, 1999) D: Steven P Anderson, Lex Kent P: Harvey Weinstein

A science fiction drama about three men who share a brain. It was infamously cut up by the Weinsteins and turned into an incoherent movie where the plot barely holds together in favor of a more “action driven” plot. Stock footage from Starship Troopers was infamously used in the climactic battle with little to no change (for some reason, they’re fighting giant spiders). If it were made by anyone not as ingrained into the studio system as Weinstein, it would have tanked his career. The only thing that can be recommended about the initially released version is a musical number in the second act where one of the actresses is clearly high and unable to synchronize with everyone else. The actual film, released by Sony under the name Slaves to the Beat, is significantly better, but at best, it’s decent. The initial cut was rated PG-13 while the final cut was ratted R.

Cowboy Funk

(2025) D/S/P: Patrick Devita-Dillon

A cowboy slowly dies of dehydration. Emphasis on “slowly.” This minimalist film features no music, no interiors, and no dialogue. At times, one wonders if this is a snuff film, but one would probably stay awake if it was.

Ganymede Elegy = The Long Goodbye

Gateway Shuffle

(Disney, 2050) D/S: Ava DuVerney P: Michael Mason Germany (Bohemian Rhapsody)

A children’s film about the Astral Gate Incident. Duverney final film is perhaps one of her strongest and angriest. That this is also the final film produced by Disney makes this all the more melancholic. The film stars Lakeith Stanfield, Janelle Monáe, and Robert Godard.

Heavy Metal Queen = Dirty Pair OVA

Honky Tonk Women

(Starmaker, 2003) D: Ryan Morrison S: Steven Demayo P: Quentin Tarantino

A gambler tries to con her way out of her debts by working with a sleazy billionaire. The final film Tarantino produced in his dry spell between Jackie Brown and Kill Bill, the film touts an all-star cast of psychotronic actors from Sid Haig to Patrick McGoohan in his final film role. The dialogue, while not as snappy as Tarantino’s, still has a guttural charm to it. Famous for the climactic and explosive final set piece that can be seen on a television screen in Kill Bill, Death Proof, and El Camino.

Jamming with Edward

(2071) D/P: Sylvester Stevenson Earth/Mars

A documentary exploring the investigation of noted hacker Radical Edward. The film slowly becomes a psychochronographic look at the history of the world after the Astral Gate incident through the lens of hacking. The film concludes with a belief that the world is rudderless and the future is ever changing. There’s a level of optimism to that.

Jupiter Jazz

(Diamond Dogs Video, 1984) D: Tobe Hooper S/P: Robin Stevens

The first of Tobe Hooper’s noir duology. Jupiter Jazz (Jamie Lee Curtis) is a detective looking for the heir to the Marston dynasty (Michael Jackson). What follows is an exploration of class, depression, and carnivals. Hooper’s slick camera and colorful pallet charge this neo-noir to heights unseen in the genre at this point. The ending is perhaps one of the bleakest in the noir genre. Also stars Robert Forrester, Anthony Hopkins, and the film debut of Quentin Tarantino in a non-speaking roll.

Jupiter Jazz II

(Diamond Dogs Video, 1987)

One of two sequels Hooper made to his own films, Jupiter Jazz II returns to our lead seemingly undamaged by the events of the previous film. Now she’s investigating the murder of a politician at the behest of his wife (Sigourney Weaver). Linda Hamilton stars in perhaps her most startling role as a junkie on the verge of suicide. One almost feels sorry that the tumultuous production soured Hooper’s relationship with writer/producer Robin Stevens as this is arguably both of their best films. Also star Vincent Price and features stock footage of a chicken getting its head chopped off.

Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door

(Fox series, 2010-2011)

A single season television show about an investigation into a Catholic terrorist plot to destroy the Empire State Building. Its final episode controversially aired on September 11^th, 2011 before the last five minutes were abruptly cut off, conveniently before the Empire State Building was destroyed. It was canceled midway through production and had its episodes aired out of order.

Mish-Mash Blues = I Break Down

Mushroom Samba

(Warner, 2039) D: Jacob Chapman S: Greg Stevens P: Steven Sugar, Warren P. Miller

My Funny Valentine

(HBO series, 2021-2029)

An HBO series exploring the relationships with love and family. Each season would have a different set of protagonists from Anne Hathaway and June Egbert to Mark Morst and Lu Chi Wan. The show was infamous for an episode that was just an orgy that would have gotten the show canceled were it not for the stellar ratings and reviews, becoming a worldwide phenomenon. Its final season starred Frank Joseph Watson, Annie May Smith, Lucas Wilson III, Winslow Swan, and five others.

Pierrot le Fou

(Criterion, 1965) D/S: Jean-Luc Godard P: Georges de Beauregard France (Pierrot the Madman)

An unhappy man (Jean-Paul Belmondo) leaves his family and reunites with his ex-girlfriend (Anna Karina) for a crime spree.

The Real Folk Blues

(Fox Video, 2020) D/P: Spike Mason S: Ryan Chack

This four hour crime epic explores the violent end of the Red Sombrero Crime family. It focuses on a pair of lovers whose lives and love was ultimately destroyed by joining the family. Ryan Chack is (mis)cast as Violence, the lead thug out to kill the lovers and take over the family. The climactic fight scene is perhaps one of the greatest sword/gun fights in the history of cinema. Spike Mason cameos in a role that makes you wish he was playing Violence. Some planets have released this as two films for the sake of profits.

The Real Folk Blues II: See The Real Folk Blues

Speak Like a Child

(Sony, 2023) D: Rachel Talalay S: Steven Moffat P: John Waters

The reunion of Dr. Who scribe Steven Moffat, director Rachel Talalay, and actors Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman as well as a reunion between Talalay and John Waters in a switch of their former roles. The story of a woman lost in a future that was never meant for her with no memory of her past paralleled with that of a man in the twilight of his life sings in ways few Moffat scripts have before. Talalays eclectic direction emphasizes the melancholic tone of the script and Capaldi gives a morose final performance. Also stars Joe Jones, Jared Harris, and, in their first role, Luna Mars as a one line bellhop. Even in this small role, Mars gives an air of weirdness and mystery. James Gunn and John Waters cameo.

Stray Dog Strut = A Shaggy Dog

Sympathy for the Devil

(2021)

Allegedly, a recording of the exorcism of Aleister Crowley in 1947. It has scenes that are clearly shot in the then contemporary 20’s with the skyline matching that of Martian 20’s than Northampton in the 1900’s. The actor they get to play Crowley looks identical to images found in the Earth Archives. The climactic scene of Crowley ripping the heads off of the priests trying to save him is at once grotesque and beautiful. There’s an almost Blakean feel to the way Crowley’s body contorts as he “transforms” into a demonic creature. The gristle in his bloody smile as he looks into the camera before the visuals burn out is perhaps one of the most frightening scenes in the history of film. A shame the rest couldn’t live up.

Toys in the Attic

(Paramount, 2069) D: Marcus Walters S: Joe Pan Fue, Lisa Clark P: John Matinez

The award winning debut of Marcus Walters tells the story of four people (and a dog) locked in a haunted ship with no way to contact the outside world. Their food has run low and there’s “something” waiting for them in the creaking walls of the ship. Out of all of Walters’ filmography thus far, this is perhaps his most brutal. A sneering look at humanity in the backdrop of an uncaring universe hampered by a narration that frequently quotes Ligotti, Sandifer, and Jung. One could say that the film would be best viewed silently, but that would mean losing the work of Alex Reed, perhaps the greatest score in the history of horror cinema. And, of course, the voice of the lovely Janelle Monáe as the sole female character (as opposed to presence) within the film. Also stars Walter Jones, Marcus Walters, and Jakey Matinez. The film was shot in black and white.

Waltz for Venus

(Orion, 2071) D/S: Lisa Smith P: Jacob Williams Venus (Love is Enough)

Brad Pitt stars in his final role as an aging gunslinger forced on one final job. A whirlwind romance that traverses the galaxy from the cities of Mars to the battlefields of Pluto. The final scene, set on Venus, ends on a melancholic note. Also stars Tom Holland, Jenna Coleman, and pop star Mary Jones in her first film role. Jake Bellisimo wrote the score.

Wild Horses

(Sony, 2050) D: Mattie Franklin S: Jude Traveler P: Harrison Palmer

A depressed man comes to terms with the nature of the universe.

That’s All Folks…

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Why’s there a watermelon there? (Mushroom Samba)

The first mushroom didn’t take effect on Ryan Chack for a good hour or so. At least, he thought it took an hour. The world was slow and strange at that time, strange and slow and strange and slow and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAt 7:15 AM, Jonathan made himself some breakfast, what he called Bacon and Eggs, but was in reality just Eggs. Not many people can afford meat, let alone on Tijuana. But it’s nice to dream every once in a while. There’ nothing wrong with having a dream per say. Dreams have their place in this world after all, Jonathan thought to himself when he first called them “Bacon and Eggs.” Not that they can ever be acted out, mind you. They exist in the place outside of the real world. Those who think their dreams can come true are just another kind of junkie.

It flew away way way way way way way way, like all birds do in the end. There was a sadness in its eyes as it flew away. I couldn’t place what it was though. Probably nothing to do with me, birds have a life of their own, you know. But the bird being there meant that I was caught by the police. They let me go a little while later, does goooooooooooooood not to lock up of the Red Dragons, especially me. I went back to Mars and heard what happened there. Shit was hitting the fan and it was my time to shine. We wouldn’t be led by some asshole who thinks a bloodbath and a statement are the same thing. Nor would we be led by a pencil pusher who’d rather talk things over than do business. No, what we need is a professional. Someone who can do the job and do it right.

The game was complex and strange. It started when a servant walked into a room she wasn’t allowed into. It wasn’t intentional, mind you. The room was typically open to the public, even to someone as lowly as her. But that was the day the church was baptizing the new king. There was to be complete privacy, lest their god be angered by the infidelity. So they claimed. In truth, the Queen wanted control of the kingdom for a very long time. She saw this as the perfect moment to strike, to escape from a loveless marriage and rule the kingdom the way it ought to be ruled. Any witnesses to what would transpire would need to be silenced. Which is why, quite unfortunately, the servant entered the room. She saw all that they were doing, all they had done. The king was dead. And there was but one loose end to tie. The Queen’s Knight tried to slay the servant, as many a knight has done. One could say part of the job of being a knight is silencing those who would speak poorly of those in power. Even those close to them. But tragedy befell the knight as, in his attempts to kill the servant, he loosened a stone from the castle’s walls. The stone held a pillar, which held a roof. With the pillar loosened, the roof shattered, if only slightly. It was enough to smother him. The bishop tried to escape from the room, destroying itself in the wake of a pointless and cruel power grab. So the story goes, he was able to escape. But then, stories have a tendency of lying about their truth. If only to keep the bishops in their place. The Queen, likewise, tried to escape. The stories tend to confirm her failure to escape. She was crushed, quite unceremoniously, under the weight of her kingdom’s stones. For in the end, the story is one with the moral: don’t let the ambitions of women have sway in the affairs of men, lest they destroy the kingdom. The queen may have power, but if not tempered by the cool head of the king, all will be lost. It is a cruel and awful story. One that exists to control the narrative of the world in favor of kings. Indeed, the story expands to further cruelty, as all defenses of the monarchy do. For how else did the kingdom fall but for one servant to not know her place. Were she to have known where she was meant to be, to be where her masters wished her to be rather than in the place her stupid mind thought she was meant to be, the kingdom would still be standing. Of course, as with all stories, there are always escape hatches, even unintentional ones. For the stories, the ones not told in the halls of church and state, offer a different moral, a different lesson. The focus is place, in their telling’s, on the servant, not the monarch. The servant escapes from the collapse of the world. The intentions were clear and understandable. She planned to be in the wrong place, baited the knight to strike at that spot, and slew the vicious monarch. She was mistreated by those in power, those who saw her as disposable. So she played the game her way, and down, down, down the monarchy fell.

Mobsters, as anyone who’s dealt with them can tell you, rarely let go of a grudge. I gave up on a job too quickly and they must’ve came all the way to Callisto to find me. That must’ve been what the two million was for. Security money in case they showed up. The briefcase was in my hands with all the money in it. I slid the money towards one of the hired goons. I put a note…. Where did I put it? Did I put it on the fridge? It’s in there somewhere, fingering some other mob boss for what my brother was framed for doing. Felt only right, I suppose. He looked inside, signaled his fellows, and they all disappeared.

Naturally, Gary did the sensible thing and ran like heck. The streets of Mars are full of dark alleys, odd turns, and canals. And Gary used them all to try to escape from his pursuer. There were moments of luck and moments of failure in his escape. The crowd of children celebrating a birthday party gave him a brief reprise. But getting hit by the gondola didn’t help matters. But eventually, the chase ended with Gary pinned down in a garden planted atop a smile. No one knows the exact reason why the smile was on Mars. Some say it was the creation of a higher being with a sense of humor. Others believe it to be an optical illusion like Magic Eye pictures or the third dimension. It talks sometimes, about the future, the past, the worlds that never were and always were forever and always and never and whenever and however it can find the flesh of the man who sold the world. Gary was too busy having a gun aimed at his head to think of an answer to that riddle.

While the bartender went to grab some people who knew his brother and Jacob nursed his vodka (“On the house,” they said. Then, after a short pause, “For Michael.”), Jacob caught a glimpse of Vanessa. She was a rare breed of woman, the kind with an infectious smile, a verbose giggle, and eyes that could make the sun melt into a ball of golden lava. He didn’t recognize her from their first encounter (he was too busy focusing on getting away from the cops). He didn’t say anything at first, as Vanessa was watching the news. It appeared that a New York City vigilante dressed up like Spider-Man was brutalizing people who were unlawfully poor and brown. The police had rather unsubtly, if nonverbally, given their support to the masked criminal, much to Vanessa’s chagrin.

We drove to the spaceport in the most opulent of cars and towards one of the most mundane of spaceships. I suppose that’s fair. Callisto has a long history of hiding criminals on the run. It stands to reason that they can’t all be murderers. Seeing the moon made me think otherwise. I’d never been to Callisto. No one goes to Callisto unless the ISSP is after you for a sum greater than seventy-five billion woolongs. It was a shithole. Not like Earth where you could at least have a conversation. I mean a proper shithole. It was a barren, desolate planet where the only life was a driving city without any cars in it. And, to top it all off, it was cold as balls.

The song ends as all songs do. The King of Nightmares is pleased with the song and gives the waking world a reward. She knows of all the worlds that are, were, and might be. She dances in all of them like a ballerina on a chain of memories. She has seen cruelty and pain and joy and Hope. She knows where all things lie. And so, she sends that world a gift. The only one she can: a nightmare. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

He imagines a memory of being infinite lightning. He was never lightning, only his original version was. He has to remind himself of being a copy. He has to remind himself why he is in the cell. And who was free to be out of it. And why that makes him happy. And sad. And angry. And content. Hell is a place without being. On the outside, there are those who see hell as a library, a collection of broken ideas that could be seen again, but never will. On the inside, hell is nothingness. Life without living. Without even the faintest glimpse of other worlds. He imagines being lightning. He strikes down planets with the eye of an artist and leaves behind scars of ancient art.

Ural Terpsichore was dead. (I Don’t Feel So Good. I Feel Like I’m About To Hurl)

But that’s just one story being told. There are others out there in the world, ones suppressed by the official one. (BLUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAGH!)

The frozen sarcophagus floats in the eternal night like a child drowning in the middle of the ocean where not even the most carnivorous of sharks or the most vengeful of dolphins could find him. The remains within splurge out of the metallic casket like blood from a stuck pig. It glistens in the night sky with an air of magic and wonder that could only come from a fishing lure. It will be free one day. It will consume. It will survive. It always does. Its children will die, consumed by those who are stronger than them. But it will consume them in turn. All things return to the refrigerator.

But it was the woman that confounded Bobbie. She didn’t have the face of a cop, not even the eyes of one. She was too hardened to be a civilian. But it was what she said at the podium, in that stunningly miserable blue dress that really peaked Bobbie’s interest.

Jane looked at the pocket watch and thought to herself, ‘Scout would really like this.’ Then she began to cry.

Ryan Chack awoke four days later, completely naked and inside someone else’s home. He was thankful that they weren’t there at the time. Less thankful was the fact that the he was covered in glass from the door he broke into in order to get into the house. His pants were five blocks away on a flagpole waving about like leaves in an autumn sky. He tried to piece together what happened the night before, still thinking it was three days ago. The last thing he remembered was eating from a plate of mushrooms someone had politely left lying around. He wasn’t one to say no to free food. Then everything started to blur. It was as if the universe had reshaped itself around him and become something completely alien.

But before he could figure out the shape of the world he now found himself in, a kindly police officer knocked on someone else’s door.

See You Space Cowboy…

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Looks like he’s been… disarmed! (Black Dog Serenade)

The official story is always rubbish. Sure, sometimes the official story is a true story, one that can ultimately help those who need it and move the future towards a better one. But it’s always written by the people in charge to fit their narrative. Information is lost to time and the machinations of those who will it to be lost. It rarely stays lost forever. Sometimes, there’s a hole that forces people to dive deeper and deeper into the story until it disappears forever in favor of a different story. Sometimes, the new story is equally false. “Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia,” as they say.

Take, for example, Detective Jet Black’s arm. Officially, an assassin working for the European Syndicate named Udai Taxam shot it off the detective, forcing his career to a premature end. However, holes start to build up once you start looking for them. For example, consider Black’s partner, Detective Fredrick Alexander “Fad” Dixon. He was with Black when they were going after Taxam, and yet was conveniently somewhere else when Black’s arm was shot off. Equally, the angle of the shot that blew away Black’s arm was too high up to actually be done by Taxam himself. There was a spotlight on Black when the gun went off. Could it be a third party turned on the spotlight, blinding Black’s vision of the sniper who got rid of his arm.

Equally, there’s the murder of Officer Wilson Marcos. Officially a cold case wherein his skinned body was found wandering the streets of Tharsis. The police at the time found no evidence on the body as to who could have committed the crime. Thirty years later, it was discovered that the Chief of Police himself, Philip Jameson, skinned Marcos as he was getting to close on a case. At the time, Marcos was involved in a missing persons case with Detectives Mark Walters and Mellissa “Mels” Parker. The case, as discovered much later, revealed corruption, systemic racism, and other such nastiness within the department. Of the three, Marcos was the loudest killed. Walters was simply murdered in his bathtub and framed to look like a suicide. Parker went MIA for thirty years until she resurfaced in a massive piece by the Saturn Press, which effectively destroyed the ISSP at the foundations.

On the other hand, consider Commander Sam Plinkov. Officially speaking, Plinkov was a hero who died a heroes death. He was investigating a drug cartel for the last five years of his life along with a string of partners who ended up dead. Some were under the impression that he was a crooked cop who was in on the cartel’s dealings and purposefully got his partners killed. But, when the cards were laid down on the table, Plinkov ultimately fought against the cartel, practically singlehandedly destroying their operation, at the cost of his own life. The evidence that he simply turned on the cartel has been suppressed by the police, though one documented photograph of money switching hands between Plinkov and cartel member and former captain Elroy Masterson has surfaced. The timing of the photo indicates that Masterson was with the cartel at the time, though when pressed about the subject as a death row inmate, Masterson refused to comment. (He was killed shortly afterwards by Dixon.)

There are other stories that have been altered or shifted by the official story. Ones that have been murdered in the crib in favor of simpler, more appealing stories of heroism and mystery. The nature of telling stories is to create an image of the world you want to see. The vision of the police is one where the good guys support the law and fight tooth and nail to see justice done. The law is always just and never crooked, bar one or two bad apples. But the truth of the saying is that one bad apple does spoil the bunch. Officially, it doesn’t. Officially, the problem is individual actors working against the common good, those who would work with the syndicate or the cartel or Eastasia. The system isn’t the problem. It’s those who use and abuse it, that’s the problem. Trust the authority, trust the power structure. This is the best of all possible worlds.

But that’s just one story being told. There are others out there in the world, ones suppressed by the official one.

The truth is out there…

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Don’t you hear my call, though you’re many years away? (My Funny Valentine)

It was four or five years ago when the accident occurred. The circumstances of the accident are subject to rumor, ranging from sabotage due to an unhappy marriage to the spaceship manufacturers using parts that were below standard, at best. What is known is that two people died and their daughter survived, albeit critically wounded such that she is still cryogenically frozen. She may never wake up. What follows is an attempt to reconstruct the events of that night based on the information available. For the sake of that woman, still sleeping like a princess in a castle, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest must remain faithful.

Jacob M. Wattermon was a man of low birth. He born on Earth on November 22^nd, 1963 to a Romani family. He spent the first twenty four years of his life wandering the European continent trying to survive. Sometimes, he was a thief. Others, a servant. And once his mother died, a parent to his younger brother, Michael. The world in those twelve years had hurt his family in ways that are too cruel and meanspirited to talk about here. Some stories are perhaps best left untold, or at least told by a better storyteller.

It was on October 3^rd, 1987 that Jacob met Vanessa P. Marston, twenty two year old heiress to the Marston fortune. He was on the run from a pack of cops who wanted to lock him up for the simple crime of stealing a loaf of bread for his sick brother (who sadly died three days later). She was on the run from her parents for the crime of being unlawfully queer. No one would say, publicly, that she was into men and women. She didn’t even fully understand these emotions bubbling within her like a bottle of soda shook up for far too long. Her mother had reached the end of menopause and her father was the rare millionaire who devoted himself to his wife. They did not know what was going on with their daughter. They didn’t even know she was missing. But then, it had only been an hour.

Their meeting was brief, yet impactful. Her presence on that street corner was a good distraction for the police. Not that she was wanted, but that she bumped into the officers while leaving a bar, giving young Jacob enough time to escape. The bar was an old one, practically there since the dawn of the century. Most of the clientele were queer. Some were men, some women, and some trying to think of a word that described a state in between those two binaries. Some even reject the very notion of binary gender in favor of something else. The bar would remain open for many years to come, and it was here that Jacob and Vanessa met again on October 10^th, 1987.

Michael was to be buried in an unmarked grave the next day. Jacob, not wanting the affair to be just him, looked to see if Michael had any friends (Jacob had spent too long caring for his brother to have friends). He found in the pocket of his sore covered brother’s pants a card for a bar calling itself The Lovely Angel. Jacob arrived at 7:15AM and immediately asked the bartender a few questions. Initially, the bartender was warry about Jacob. It was still seen as criminal for people to be themselves in the English 80’s. At least, that was what Clause 28 and Maggie said. They had also been hearing stories about police going up to their queer fellows and “questioning” them about their actions, much in the same way a butcher questions a pig about its actions. It wasn’t until Jacob mentioned Michael by name that the bartender declenched their sphincter. The plague had been raging throughout the world for years now and no one seemed to care. They would die of it before the decade came to a close. They held Michael when he saw the first sore. They knew he was strong, able to fight the plague to the bitter end. They cried when Jacob said he had a smile on his face when he passed.

While the bartender went to grab some people who knew his brother and Jacob nursed his vodka (“On the house,” they said. Then, after a short pause, “For Michael.”), Jacob caught a glimpse of Vanessa. She was a rare breed of woman, the kind with an infectious smile, a verbose giggle, and eyes that could make the sun melt into a ball of golden lava. He didn’t recognize her from their first encounter (he was too busy focusing on getting away from the cops). He didn’t say anything at first, as Vanessa was watching the news. It appeared that a New York City vigilante dressed up like Spider-Man was brutalizing people who were unlawfully poor and brown. The police had rather unsubtly, if nonverbally, given their support to the masked criminal, much to Vanessa’s chagrin.

She turned away from the tv in disgust and towards Jacob. He had an awkward smile on his face, the kind one gives when they hope they haven’t said something stupid to make a person they just met angry. Vanessa didn’t say anything, nor did she walk away. She just smiled the kind of smile people give when they fail at convincing strangers that they aren’t going through a lot. Jacob was a bit dense, so he didn’t get the full implications of the smile, but he certainly got enough to know he didn’t come off as a creep.

They only started to hit it off when they began talking to each other. It was a typical meet cute affair of sly wit, common interests, and genuine attraction. Vanessa was confused by the implications of these feelings. Was her queerness just a phase like she was taught it would be as a child. Was she growing up. Then she turned to look at the biker chick who was as tall as an amazon with a devil may care grin and realized that no, it was not a phase. (It would take her three more visits to The Lovely Angel to ever hear the term “pansexuality.”)

Jacob and Vanessa continued dating in secret for the next three years, though to say it was a secret is perhaps a bit of an assumption of perspective. While her parents didn’t know (and, indeed, would never know) about her love, various servants in the Marston household were well aware of her dating someone “beneath her” and found it somewhat amusing. Some would dare say she was slumming it before she moved on to some rich guy who would bury her in oodles of money. Alas, such a life was not meant to be.

On December 29^th, 1990, Dragoon Marston the Fourth and Lilian Marston died tragically in a boating accident. Their bodies were not found for seven years, but it was agreed upon rather quickly that they were dead. This is mainly due to little details such as “there was a sudden storm in the area of sea where their sailing plan had them on” and “the mast of the ship was found on the shores of Singapore three days after their deaths.” One detail that isn’t typically brought up in such conversations is that Vanessa was supposed to be on that boat with them but, due to an unforeseen illness, was not. There are conflicting reports on the matter, with some of the servants claiming that she was not in the house when her parents had left and some had claimed she was as fit as a fiddle when she heard the news of her parents demise. No one would dare say foul play about the scenario, least of all in Vanessa’s earshot. It should also be noted that on that very same night, Jacob rented a boat from an associate of his.

Regardless, Vanessa was orphaned that night. Which meant that she had inherited the family fortune and, more importantly, lacked anyone who could stop her from marrying the man she loved. She would wait a year. It would take that long for the paper work, planning, and genuine mourning to be done. Jacob was happy, if somewhat apprehensive, to have their relationship in the open. He would say to those who asked that he was saddened that he never got to meet Vanessa’s parents in person, as they seemed like nice people.

This, of course, contradicts one eye witness testimony, who claims to have seen Jacob Wattermon interact with Dragoon Marston the Fourth on December 25^th, 1990. The details of the conversation are sketchy at best (the eye witness was noticeably drunk when giving the testimony and had a long and sketchy history with Wattermon that would give him reason enough to discredit the fellow. Also, the people who released the testimony was the Daily Mail, so…). What can be ascertained from the conversation was that Dragoon was quite cross with Jacob over his relationship with his daughter. While the specific words used in the conversation aren’t clear, it is notable that one of the sentences Dragoon bellowed like a dragon was “I will not sit idly by while my daughter is gang [redacted] by a bunch of [redacted]!” before promptly ordering the butler to punch Jacob in the face. Repeatedly.

In the years that follow, Jacob and Vanessa lived a happy life. On June 13^th, 1994, they had their only child, a daughter named Fae. In the twenty years they lived together, Fae learned both the benefits of luxury as well as several skills one might need if one lacks access to it. Skills such as con artistry, cutting cards, and parkour. She was loved and adored by her parents and she loved them back. As she grew older, she began to love other things and other people. She had a date with two women who claimed to be time traveling space cops (or trouble consultants, as they put it) that ended poorly for everyone. She spent a year with a guy named Ryan Chack, whose heart she ultimately broke. But at the age of 20, she was single.

It was on May 29^th, 2014 that the accident happened. Her parents had recently bought a spaceship directly from the factory. Jacob had made friends with Marco Wallace, the owner of the manufacturer in the decades married to Vanessa. To celebrate their friendship, Walter gave Jacob one of the newest line of spaceship that wasn’t even available to the public. For her part, Vanessa was quite jovial with Walter, though some have noted a shifting in her eyes whenever he’s around. As if he was a lamb and she a tiger. The smiles were too large at times. The plan was for the three of them to go to the moon and back, a simple (if pedestrian) trip.

Then the accident happened.

Again, the records of what happened are sparse, at best. There is no answer left in the data or the crime scene or anywhere that shows one way or the other. We are only left with unanswered questions. Did Vanessa cheat on her husband with Walter? Did he think he did? Was this the first time Jacob had killed someone out of a sense of love? For that matter, did Vanessa think Walter was cheating on her with someone else? There are records that he was spending a lot of time with Walter, could it be they were lovers? For that matter, why was Walter so willing to give a spaceship to Jacob and his family that wasn’t even available to the public? A spaceship that was immediately recalled from the factories and destroyed before anyone could investigate further? Was Fae aware of any of this? There are so many questions left in the remains of this tragic affair that destroyed what seemed to be a loving family. All we can hope for is that Fae one day wakes up and remembers all the answers.

This is a true story.

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