Commissioned by Aleph Null. If you would like to commission a post, consider backing the Patreon at the $5 level.
I do not watch Crazy Ex Girlfriend. This is not a statement of the shows quality as I don’t watch a lot of good shows and Crazy Ex Girlfriend looks like it’s one of them. From what I’ve gathered, it’s a series about a woman who’s trying to get her boyfriend back through stalking and other things unexamined by traditional romantic comedies. Also, it’s a musical.
Going off the series, there were two approaches I could take with examining the show. On the one hand, I could go off brand and look at the Weird Al cameo as the be-all, end-all moment in his career. This would include examining his various songs and cameos prior to this moment with sidesteps into arguing that his appearance in Teen Titans Go! is the best interpretation of that character ever put to screen, explaining why the episode of MLP with him in it wasn’t enough to actually get me into the show bar looking at certain segments of the fandom, and why the duel in Wander Over Yonder is just so much better. It would ultimately end with the sentence, “But his career reached its highpoint when he cameoed in Crazy Ex Girlfriend as a hot air balloon salesman.”
But twitter voted for me to stay on brand, so here’s a lyrical analysis of Getting Bi.
 |
| Disaster Bi |
I don’t know how.
I don’t know why.
But I like ladies!
And I like guys!
This is perhaps the most succinct definition of bisexuality I’ve seen in fiction, one that does not imply that bisexuals want to fuck around with other people because, by “rejecting” the sexual binary of straight or gay, we are more amoral in our sexual desires. This ranges from Deep Space Nine’s Mirror Kira, which for some reason doesn’t reveal Kira is Bi, to Partick Hocksetter from IT. That this bisexual guy named Darryl is having a musical number where he’s shown as being delightful instead of villainous is a welcome change of pace.
I realize
It’s a surprise.
But I see that it’s just me
It’s not like I even tried!
I don’t remember the exact moment I realized I was bisexual. It felt sort of like a gradual thing rather than a shocking revelation. I’d see a cock or a vagina or whatever and I’d feel aroused. But the exact moment is a bit of a blur to me. It certainly was a shock to some of my family, though others are more open to it. I should stress that there hasn’t been a “Sean, we’d like for you to go to therapy to deal with this” type conversations and I haven’t been disowned. At worst, some members of the family have been in denial of it. I can live with that.
So if you ask me how I’m doing,
Here is my reply:
I’m g-g-g-g-getting bi!
I’m getting bi!
Oh yeah, I’m letting my
Bi
Flag
Fly!
Many bisexuals, myself included, have been championing for this song to be made into a bisexual anthem. It’s hard not to see why, as it’s a delightfully peppy song about how amazing it is to be bisexual and it’s title is a pun on the phrase “Getting by.” Puns are one of the core aspects of bi-culture ever since Kieron Gillen entered the fray. That I am not that great at puns is a great source of contention on my end.
Not gonna hide it!
Not gonna lie!
I’m a bi kinda guy
There’s no reason to be shy!
My oh my,
It’s a fact I can’t deny
I’m Bi! Bi! Bi!
Until the day I die!
One of the interesting aspects of the video is that it goes back and forth between two layers of reality. One being the office and the other being a soundstage akin to the old variety shows. There are two worlds of reality being presented to us, both equally valid in the world of the show and both ones where Darryl can exist and be himself. He can be both the man in the grey suit and the man in the white suit simultaneously. Pretty good metaphor for being bi, don’t you think?
Now some may say,
“Are you just gay?
Why don’t you just go gay all the way?”
But that’s not it!
But that’s not it!
‘Cause bi’s legit!
Whether you’re a he or a she,
We may be a perfect fit!
Another part of the bisexual identity is that we have to repeatedly assert our status as bisexuals. By and large, many people both within and without the LGBTQIA community will look at bisexuals as “Straights trying to sound interesting” or “Cowardly gays” or even “traitors.” Most times, people will just be confused by the sexuality and act as if I’m just straight or gay. The truth, as with most things, is more complicated and yet more straightforward.
And one more thing,
I tell you what!
Being bi does not imply
That you’re a player
Or a slut!
Sure, I like sex,
But I’m no ho!
I take things slow
Until I feel at ease!
Remember what I said about depraved bisexuals? It’s a long running tradition to queer up the villains, but not make them “too gay,” so bisexuals get thrown under the bus. There’s an air of “I’m not like the other bisexuals” when some characters try to defend their sexuality in fiction (mainly because such characters are written by people whose conception of bisexuality comes from reading books about the evil wizard who does ghastly things to both men and women). Crazy Ex Girlfriend knows that bisexuals like myself are just like any other person, warts and all.
So if you ask me how I’m doing,
I’m feeling peppy,
Spritely,
Spry!
I’m g-g-getting bi!
I’m getting bi!
And it’s something I’d like to demystify!
There is an air of mysticism to all levels of queerness. Indeed, all forms of sexuality are in there way mystical. Alan Moore, for example, hinges a lot of his beliefs on the powers of love, hence why he views rape so abhorrently and yet so naïvely: it’s a corruption of love by violence rather than what it actually is (a form of taking power over someone, love and sexuality be damned). To say you’d like to demystify any sexuality is a bit-
It’s not a phase!
I’m not confused!
Not indecisive!
I don’t got the “Gotta choose” blues!
Oh, that kind of demystify. Never mind.
I don’t care if you wear high heels
Or a tie!
You might just catch my eye, cause I’m definitely bi!
The thing about bisexuality, that the song doesn’t get into directly, is that it’s not, as the “bi” implies limited to two genders. Rather it’s an attraction to two or more genders. Bisexuals can have partners with ladies, guys, non-binary people, and all the other types of people in the Technicolor landscape we call gender.
BIG MAN!
After this comes a saxophone solo. It’s delightful, as all saxophone solos are. After this, Darryl sings, “I’m getting bi” six more times.
It doesn’t take an intellectual
To get that I’m bisexual!
If nothing else, that such an open, honest statement about bisexuality was found not in a personal drama about queer people dying of AIDS, a prestige show ostensibly about tits and dragons, or a great American novel about how terrible it is to be able to afford to not die on the streets, but in a CW comedy series speaks to the validity of this statement. That’s not to disparage the show; rather it’s to note that what we as a culture consider to be “high art” tends to be dour pieces where everyone secretly hates everyone else and will do horrible things in the name of their own self interests rather than delightful ones about how amazing sex and other people are.
Also, minor quibble, that’s not what the bi flag looks like.
 |
| This is a bi flag. |
No comments:
Post a Comment