A Dirty Pair

It was a cool spring night. The stars danced across the sky like the darkness was a ballroom on a sinking ship. Beth was sleeping on Eliza’s lap while the stars danced into infinity. Eliza, meanwhile, was watching out for bandits, monsters, and other such jerks. There had been rumors in their time in the City that such people lurked the wilderness, looking for victims to attack. It had been a week since they had left the City. This strange old world they found themselves in had surprised them quite a bit, though not enough to remove all the prejudices they had accrued in their lifetimes.

They met a few weeks ago. Neither of them had a job at the time, as was the case with most people living in the City at that point. Beth was sleeping on the collapsed remains of a condemned apartment complex when Eliza found her. Beth’s hair was raven dark with bits of grime strutting out like a crown of thorns. She had the hands of a bartender who was long out of practice. With her eyes closed, there was an innocence to her form. A sleeping beauty right out of a fairy tale, waiting for the day her prince would come. But when she opened her eyes and drew a handmade knife at Eliza, that innocence gave way to a more guarded persona. One who had seen the horrors of the City and knew it was safer to act sweet than to be. And yet the specter of innocence still haunted her gaze like the memory of a small town on a lad who returned after years away to find it a ruin.

And when that gaze turned towards Eliza, this is what Beth saw: Eliza was taller than most women her age, though only by an inch or two. Her long scarlet hair was at times an inconvenience to her when going to and fro the City’s landscape. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to cut it any shorter than up to the middle of her back. Memories of her mother or a former love, Beth assumed incorrectly. Eliza’s tanned skin was light enough to be incapable of hiding the bruises gained over the years. She held herself like… well, not like royalty, more like someone who frequents bars solely to get into fights with assholes. But one could see her being of noble blood in a previous lifetime (though a lady at most). Her emerald eyes glistened in the starless night. She didn’t hide this side of her, Beth could tell, at least not to her. Maybe not anyone, Beth thought. Eliza had the perpetual smile of a Cheshire Cat on her face, as if she was daring her to strike first. Like Beth, she was also armed, though with an extremely crooked aluminum bat that had a puncture hole where it bent.

It took the pair a few minutes of curt conversations that basically amounted to the phrase “Drop the weapon” being repeated over and over again before the two got the sense that the other probably wasn’t going to murder them. When they finally started treating each other like actual human beings, they found a kinship in the other and decided that it would be a good idea to travel together. By the week’s end, it would seem to someone outside the relationship that the two were childhood friends who had since become an old married couple, much to their chagrin as they were only 23 and 25 respectively. (Who was which is a question best saved for people who don’t value their eardrums.)

It was that first meeting that was on Eliza’s mind as she sat outside the City. It was an alien world, all things considered. The City, even at its grimiest, was cleaner than the outside world. Green had infested the landscape to the point whee one could sleep on parts of the pavement. The building they were resting in didn’t have a roof. Indeed, the only reason it could be called a building was because it had a door and two walls. It was as ruined as any other piece of architecture in the new world… or, for that matter, within the City itself (it was just good at hiding its ruins under denial and repression). These ruins couldn’t be denied. A cool wind blew through the remains, tempting Eliza to sleep.

But she knew the dangers of the outside world. Everyone in the City told themselves that it was better to remain in the walls of tyranny than to step into the land of barbarianism and pure cruelty. The state could never be as cruel as a human outside of it, untethered by society. Indeed, the only reason they left the City was… but before Eliza could finish that thought, she decided to think of more pleasant things, things along the lines of how it feels to be dropped into a meat grinder. She thought about these things for a bit before she heard a noise from a nearby bush.

Eliza had been eyeing that bush for the past hour, waiting for something to leap out and attack. Instead of attacking, the creature in the bush simply stalked out with the confidence of someone walking in a room with a bunch of starving people armed with rusty knives wearing a suit made of pig meat. In truth, Eliza had never seen such a creature. Not even the Spiders of the City told stories of such a beast, and they talked about all sorts of fictional beings like unicorns or platypi. The beast was black enough to be near invisible in the night landscape, save for its unnaturally emerald eyes. It had the outline of a cat, though it was larger than any Eliza had ever known. There was blood on its teeth, which wouldn’t stop grinning.

When the feline exited the bush, its gaze immediately met with Eliza’s and froze. Eliza’s hand was hovering over the gun next to her lap. It wasn’t loaded, but she assumed that such a creature might have enough intelligence to buy a bluff. And yet, she didn’t grab it. Instead, the two just looked at one another with a mix of fear and curiosity. What was their life like, one thought of the other, that they would live such a life? Were there others like them? Were they friendly? Were they cruel? Answers would not come that night, as the cat fled once the sun rose.

Eliza would wonder for a few weeks what happened to that cat. When pretending to be a Spider to get some food, she would make up some story about the cat being a magical cat that could shoot lightning from its eyes. A Night Breed, she would call it. The prince of the Night Breed, cast out to prevent a war for slaying the Queen of Deer. It would never know its family again, but it would forge a new family out of strays. An immortal girl with one arm would be its closest confidant, and they would travel the world for adventure. (The story was good enough to allow the pair to travel with Spiders, and it shocked them to learn that there’s not much difference between pretending to be a Spider and being one.)

Before she could think of the cat in that moment, Beth had said something. Beth, Eliza realized quickly, had a tendency of talking in her sleep. Typically it was fragments of old songs and stories. One night, she sang the chorus to a song about sleeping with ladies with fat bums in the softest tone imaginable. Another time, it was a line from a movie about an Alien floating to death in space. Once it was a conversation she had with… But that night, Eliza heard Beth say words she thought should have been sung. And yet, Beth spoke the words as if they were from a children’s storybook. “See the tower,” she began in a whisper, “Through the trees. Give way… to smoky memories:” She then proceeded to fall into incoherent mutterings. In some regards, that was the moment Eliza realized she loved Beth. (Or at least the moment she realized it.) The thought of it surprised her. To find love in a world devoid of it was as absurd as finding hate in such world. What would be the point of it when everything was mere ruin? And yet, there it was. Eliza loved Beth like birds love the sky.

She wanted to wake Beth up in that moment. Scream her desire for her, both physically and emotionally. She wanted her love to be etched upon the very fabric of reality. And then, another, far more insidious thought came to her: What if Beth didn’t love her? She certainly cared for Eliza, their time together proved as much. And yet, Eliza sensed that Beth looked at her as one looks at a sister. Would Beth look at her the same way if she confessed her love? Was this why she was thinking of that first encounter? Eliza thought quite a bit about that first night. How obvious it was that she had no idea what she was doing up against someone as experienced as Beth. When she held the knife up to her neck, Eliza saw no sign of the innocence in Beth’s eyes. If she hadn’t seen right through her persona as a hard-hitting woman, would Beth have killed her? Would she even want to stay with her now that Beth… when she knew now how violent she could be when pushed, especially after the night before? Would she survive?

That last one came as a shock. Of course Beth would survive, thought Eliza, she’s strong and brave and all the other stuff one needs to be in order to survive. And yet… There was a time in the City, during the last week they would ever spend in that dreaded place. It was a cold night; the sky was blanketed with ash from a nearby forest fire. They had gotten into a fight with some fellow homeless people over where to sleep. They lost, though not for lack of trying. Beth took out one of the other homeless people’s eye out and broke three of her ribs. The only reason why they lost was because the woman’s child came to her mother to comfort her in her last moments. She was coughing too much to say anything meaningful, but her thoughts were of her daughter. Beth and Eliza slinked away before anyone could go after them. (Unbeknownst to them, this wasn’t the end for the woman, as it wasn’t as bad as it looked.) When they found a place to rest, Eliza saw a terror in Beth’s eyes she had never known. An urge had come over her to just end it all in that moment. Beth looked to Eliza and they held each other for a long time. Thinking back on that moment, Eliza asked herself what would have happened if she weren’t there? And then a worse thought came: What would Beth become because of what she did? Eliza decided not to say a word about her feelings.

Beth awoke moments later. She was drowsy and in need of something to drink. “Hey you,” she said, looking at Eliza as the sky turned a brilliant shade of Emerald and Scarlet.

“Hey yourself,” replied Eliza with as much restraint as possible.

“I had the weirdest dream last night.”

“Oh, what was it about?”

“It… There was a bird, who… I was flying the bird to the City. It was on fire, I could hear everyone screaming. There was this one building, the tilted one, you know?”

“Bron’s, I think it was called.”

“No, no. Bron’s was the one without the bathroom. The Beautiful Flying Ladies?” 

“No. I don’t think there’s a bar like that.”

“Yeah there is. It’s that gay bar where we met those two people who liked to juggle.”

“No, no, no. That was q?”

“Was it? …You know what? It doesn’t matter which one it was. The point is, I was flying towards the tilted building and it was the only one that was untouched by the flames. So I fly in there and become the fire that burns it down. I burn everything down without quarter or care. Men, women, children: all dead by my being. And then, I come to this golden door, and I have to burn the fucker down. And in the room is this black cat with emerald-“

“I love you.” The words just came out of Eliza’s mouth with the force to knock someone down in one punch.  The entire world went silent. Beth froze. No one said anything for a while. The only sounds were of Eliza’s sobs. They were ugly and flooding the world around her. She tried to say words, but all that came out were harder sobs. The tears made it impossible to tell what Beth’s reaction was to this revelation. But deep down, she knew what it was. It was too much, too quick. She shouldn’t have said those words. She should have just kept her mouth shut and let Beth go on with her stupid story about fire. She should have been a good little girl and not -

And then, Beth touched her arm. It wasn’t a grab nor did she hold the arm, but it was a light touch. A stroke, soft like one would a tree or a wall. It was a sign that she was still there. Next, Beth moved towards Eliza. It was a cautious move, yet an unplanned one. When she was close enough, Beth began a kiss that lasted for what felt like days.

Eventually, the two moved on. They traveled, met new people, and lived a wonderful life. Some people need a place to put their roots down to be happy. Others need to move back and forth between familiar places like a bird. There are some for whom there needs to be new places to experience, new people to meet, new people to be. Discovering the new was what made them happy. But there are those who need only the companionship of someone near and dear to them. Someone who will stick by them to the bitter end; perhaps even beyond. For Beth and Eliza, these lovely angels, the world was a magical place filled with strangeness, wonder, and love. Yes, there was hardship even in this idyllic new world made in the wreckage of an old one. But is that not the nature of all worlds? Change is inherent to the universe. It is not always the change that is desired, nor even necessary, but it still happens like a black hole or a hurricane or an encounter with a complete stranger who you never meet again. For this world at least, the one that consisted of these two women, it was a world filled with love everlasting. And that was enough.

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