Imagine, if you will, a world free from entropy. A world where everything is and will always be. Where no one ages, no one dies, no one decays or collapses into dust. Imagine a world where summer never ends. Where time moves, but the people stay the same. There are many words for such a place. Heaven, Hell, Springfield. But perhaps the most fitting name for this place is Eternity. But as with all things, there is a snake in the garden. A temptation to abandon Eternity that recurs time and time again.
It might be best to begin with a brief description of that pillar. There are three figures within the shape of Eternity that guide it forwards: Archie Andrews, the all American lad with a clueless disposition and a tendency to get into messes; Betty Cooper, a girl next door type who is always there to help her friends; and Veronica Lodge, a wealthy young girl who always knows the best fashions, the best cars, and the best games. The two girls share a friendship that is time and time again tested by their mutual love for the boy. Be they rivals, unrequited, or otherwise, their relationship is tantamount. An attempt to provide a definitive decision regarding the relationship would have grave and cosmic consequences.
And so we return and begin again. One can begin a look at Eternity at any point in time. It is, after all, Eternal in nature. One can begin in 1942, when things began to take shape. One could begin a year earlier, when two of the three main players walked onto the stage. One is tempted to begin in 1973, when God indirectly and perhaps unintentionally made His decision. Though that temptation has some… complications regarding theology that are perhaps outside the scope of this article. That, and 1973 was just… the worst time to be an Archie reader. Hell, the 70s were a bad time in general for cartoons like Archie and the gang. With the exception of the 1970 Josie and the Pussycats album (which wasn’t even Archie Comics so much as Capitol Records fighting tooth and nail against Hanna-Barbera’s decision to make Josie and the Pussycats an all-white band), there was nothing of value to be found. Compare Dan DeCarlo drawing an unhinged Betty and Veronica out to break every bone in the Devil’s body to Stan Goldberg drawing Josie as possessed, and you can feel the difference in terms of craft and skill. Don’t get me started on what those Josie and the Pussycats comics do to Melody for no reason other than to be vindictive. Like, in that Josie story I mention, the possessed Josie nearly scratches Melody’s face off, a recurring pattern of violence and cruelty aimed specifically at Melody. And that’s not even getting into how abysmal the captions game is on that issue. And don’t get me started with the fact that they solve the problem of Josie being possessed by shoving the bible onto her chest, resulting in the ghost’s corpse exploding for seemingly no reason related to the actions of our characters like it’s one of those half-baked Chick Tracts and it’s somehow less than Jack Chick’s comi--
…Apologies, I forgot myself in the sheer scope of Eternity. There are many rabbit holes one can easily fall into, each one with its own virtues and horrors. They overlap, cross over, and create an orchestra whose melody is at once simple, convoluted, and not devoid of merit. Perhaps it is best to begin with a demonstration of the strength of the central pillar of Eternity.
It's 1962. Archie Andrews is suddenly head over heels for Veronica Lodge, much to the chagrin of Betty Cooper, whom he was on a date with before rudely ditching her. She would do anything to win the heart of her love. Which is just what the Devil wants to hear. He approaches, fire surrounding his being like an angel’s wings, with an offer to grant Betty wish in exchange for payment to be delivered… later. Betty accepts, and Archie is immediately smitten with her. But Veronica is none too pleased about this development, as she makes clear to her own wish granter, the Devil himself. The two girls realize what’s happening and confront the two timing infernal being, the Devil opting to flee. Such is the nature of Eternity. One cannot simply disrupt it completely with external energies. It must come from within. It would be a long time before an attempt was made.
It’s 1994. Archie is feeling lovestruck, but not towards Betty or Veronica. This incenses the pair to uncover who this mysterious woman is. At each step of their investigation, Archie is deliberately making things harder to uncover. He asks his dad to give him an excuse to be out of the room. Reggie Mantle likewise takes this opportunity to mess with the girls, have them think the other sent the love letter to Archie. Their friendship breaks as a result of this tomfoolery and roughish nastiness. Ultimately, their relationship is mended when the true source of Archie’s affection, the girl Archie has chosen to spend the rest of his life with, is revealed: Cheryl Blossom. He grew tired of the girls fighting over him and wanted something new. Eternity shudders at the revelation.
It’s still 1994. Archie is in love with Cheryl Blossom, much to the dismay of Betty and Veronica. Together, alongside Ethel Muggs and Midge Klump, they decide to break the pair up. In an attempt to spy on the girl, Ethel ends up convincing her to transfer to Riverdale High. Their attempt at making Archie jealous is more successful. His pettiness ultimately drives Cheryl away. Just as Archie is about to confess his feelings to Betty, a girl named Savannah Smythe pops up and the cycle begins again. For eternity cannot run on stasis. By definition, it must have some form of movement, even if it remains the same.
It’s 2003. It might be the 1950s. A young man sometimes called Archie Andrews has stepped out of Eternity and is working as a comics writer for one of the major companies, EC Comics. It might be more accurate to say that the man was cast out from Eternity rather than stepped out, as he is not allowed to use his own name. There are many reasons for this, most notably the fact that he witnesses quite a few murders committed by his lover. Then there’s the fact that his lover is sometimes referred to as Dilton Doiley. Eternity is solid and rejects modernity until it is forced upon it. It cannot change, become something new. The structure must remain intact. To reject Eternity, to change, to grow up is to embrace entropy, embrace death.
It’s 2004. Betty and Veronica are walking in the snow, wishing things would get more exciting. Eternity of the same thing, day in/day out can be rather dull after a few decades of being teenagers. Fortunately, excitement comes in the form of a movie production coming to Riverdale. A teen romance that is very suspiciously familiar to Betty and Veronica. That is to say the serial numbers have been barely scrubbed over. Indeed, the events of the film sound an awful lot like what occurred last year, in 1994, when Cheryl Blossom ended up in a relationship with Archie. Mainly because Cheryl, being a glory hound, sold the life rights to movie producers. Apparently, they got Dawson’s Creek’s Michelle Williams to play Cheryl, having somehow convinced her not to do Brokeback Mountain. Attempts to disrupt the filming only serve to influence it. Except, it’s all a ruse. Turns out, the film production is a cover for a reality show based on the antics of the people of Riverdale. Once discovered, the plan’s kaput. Normalcy returns to Riverdale, but at a cost. Cheryl Blossom is now a part of Eternity.
It’s 2009. Archie and the gang are preparing for graduation. Archie Andrews is in a contemplative mood. He approaches Memory Lane with the desire to walk up it, to imagine where his future will take him. He finds himself in a future where, on the cusp of graduating college, he chooses to marry Veronica. Archie ends up working at Lodge Enterprises as an executive. They are quite happy with one another, though Archie is frequently very tired from work. They end up having twins. Betty is happy, in-between jobs. But she’s content with losing the love of her life to her best friend.
It’s still 2009. Archie and the gang are preparing for graduation. Archie Andrews is in a contemplative mood. He approaches Memory Lane with the desire to walk up it, to imagine where his future will take him. He finds himself in a future where, on the cusp of graduating college, he chooses to marry Betty. As they live on, Archie struggles to find work in an ever changing gig economy. Fortunately, Betty ends up getting a high paying job on Wall Street. But the environment turns out to be… less than pleasant, leading Betty to quit out of principle. Archie and Betty instead start teaching at their old High School. They end up having twins. Veronica is happy, ends up marrying Reggie. But she’s content with losing the love of her life to her best friend.
And so, Eternity splits into two possibilities. The full contours of its shape weave back and forth within and without one another. This is not an unprecedented occurrence. Indeed, the fracturing of things is common in the shape of Eternity. William Blake, famous for painting Eternity, was known to contradict several times over. Indeed, this vision of Eternity has so many instances of fracturing Eternity with the concept of “Negative Continuity,” which rejects the Single Vision of Canon. But what makes this instance notable is its embrace of Canon, a religious concept created by the theologian Ronald Knox in rebuke to the dogmatic nature of his fellows. Eternity cannot survive stasis any more than it can survive entropy. To survive, Eternity must allow fluidity, must allow divergence. Perhaps someday, some hapless sap will engage in the vast intricacies of this divergence. Of Dilton Doiley, who lives in both visions of Eternity. Of what happened to Reggie, Moose, Midge, Jughead and the rest of the Riverdale gang in these diverging visions of Eternity. But not here. The preamble is well past 5,000 words before we even get to the sodding comic. We can leave it as read that Archie and his love (whoever she may be) live happily… until the price of leaving Eternity rears its ugly head.
It's 2011. Ed Brubaker and Sean Philips, inspired by Eternity, choose to return to the world of Criminal after the minor success of The Sinners miniseries. Their story explores the exploits and cruelties of a small town in America, with specific focus on the life of one average man who was in love with two women as a teenager, one a rich and powerful scion of a major corporation, the other a simple girl next door type. The man chose the former. Now, years later, the man finds himself regretting his choice, his wife cheats on him, his debts keep rising, and his mind keeps wandering back to those old carefree days of youth. To resolve this, he kills his wife, frames some jerk no one likes, and kills his best friend. He lives happily ever after with the girl next door. He has returned to Eternity and acts as if nothing has changed. This is the last miniseries from the Criminal universe. The book goes dormant for a few years before a graphic novel and a brief ongoing bring it back. It has yet to return. The universe is cruel to those who tamper with Eternity.
It’s 2012. Archie and the gang are watching Josie and the Pussycats perform live. Veronica can’t help but notice Archie has his eyes set on Valerie Smith, the lead singer and bass player, making her and Betty jealous. They soon move on to Valerie’s brother, Trevor Smith, having noticed Archie’s eyes set for the Pussycat. As their relationship blossoms, Valerie travels up Memory Lane and finds herself in a future where she marries Archie. After years of touring splits them up, the pair decide to spend a few weeks teaching music to gifted kids. The experience leads them to quit their respective bands to start a music school. They end up having a daughter. Betty and Veronica are happy, Betty marries Trevor and Veronica joins the Pussycats. But they’re content with losing the love of their life to another girl. Archie and Valerie’s relationship sours on account of the paparazzi makes things difficult for their little girl.
It’s still 2012. Archie is marrying Cheryl Blossom. Their relationship is more of a tabloid fixture than a genuine romance, such that their divorce and reconciliation ends up being planned in advance. Archie feels henpecked and lesser. It is often understood that he was always this way. A hapless schlub who couldn’t make a simple decision. Heads or Tails? A or B? Betty or Veronica? Alas, he has doomed himself, as perhaps would have always been his fate had he made that fateful decision so very long, long ago… in 1994.
It’s still 2012. Archie is married to Sabrina Spellman. Her aunts disprove of their love, claiming a relationship between a witch and a mortal is wrong. In response, they strip Sabrina of her magic powers. It is unclear where their relationship will go from here, the universe is often unfair like this to lovers, especially when magic is involved. Magic, more often than not, allies itself with Eternity. For they are created from the same cloth. They abhor mailability and contradiction. They demand stasis and stability. What is eternity if not Newtons Sleep?
It’s still 2012. Archie is married to Josie McCoy of the Pussycats. But there is a storm in paradise. Archie is still in love with Valerie. The gosh darn love triangles are beginning to ruin everything again. But then, would it not be Eternity without them? Are they not the core of the engines of Eternity? A yearning that will never be resolved, capable of fueling endless stories and possibilities. Is this cage not the lifeblood of Eternity? Are we not baring witness to the struggles of mankind being repeated over and over again, never seeing resolution. Always wanting, but never getting. Is Hell not a coffee shop AU?
It’s still 2012. Archie is being held by Ginger Lopez. Not much is truly known about her. By all accounts of Eternity, she was designed to replace the more volatile Cheryll Blossom, more palatable in her ambitions than the red headed femme fatale. Less likely to go skinny dipping on a public beach. And yet, her presence has grown into something of an anomaly. In some tellings, she is an affluent teen editor for a New York fashion magazine. In others, she’s a typical high school bully. Others still tell of her as a persona to help a young man understand his own queerness. The full shape of her remains to this day illusive. Perhaps that is the appeal of Eternity: its malleability allows for anything and everything to happen. The pillars remain the same, but what surrounds it can alter and shift effortlessly. Even the minute details of pillars can change.
It’s still 2012. Archie is kissing Midge. The life of Midge Klump is complicated within the realm of Eternity. In many regards, she is Archie Andrews’ reflection. A woman who is the source of affection by two men. One a well-meaning jerk whose brute strength and anger often get the better of him. The other, a massive jerk who can’t resist making a one liner that he must know will end in his suffering. Eternity has a tendency of recuring within itself like Koch’s Snowflake or a Sierpiński triangle. In this recursion, there’s an air of sexuality lacking in our loveable redhead. One with some rather distressing implications for the teen girl.
It’s still 2012. Archie is holding Ethel. In some regards, the life of Ethel Muggs can be read as a cruel, at times downright meanspirited joke being told by Eternity. A lovestruck fool who is too ugly and dorky to realize she shouldn’t be chasing after boys, especially boys who care more for Hamburgers than for women. “Big Ethel,” she’s sometimes called with the derisive cruelty teenagers are known for. There are times when Eternity takes pity on Ethel. Though sadly, not as often as it should. It was born in 1941. The idea of beauty was cruel. Still is, I suppose.
It’s still 2012. Outside of Eternity, Chris Sims commissions artist Kerry Callen to create a fake cover for Comics Alliance as part of their series of comics that never happened. In this fake comic cover, Betty and Veronica decide to drop the silly ginger and marry each other. It threatens the typical hijinks of an Archie Comic where the titular character is stuck in a relationship with the contemptable, yet compelling, Cheryl Blossom, Hiram Lodge must deal with the possibility that his daughter has a thing for middle class nicety, and Jughead marries his hamburger. This is the world Eternity fears will arise should it collapse. One of absolute anarchy and woe. All because Archie couldn’t make a simple decision. Heads or Tails? A or B? Betty or Veronica?
It's 2014. We reflect on the life of a married Archie Andrews. Throughout his life, Archie has been going to Pop’s, a restaurant known for its burgers and milkshakes. He has been going there since he was a child, always returning to that little slice of Eternity, even after wedding bells tolled in the autumn sky. He is graying now, as all who live outside of Eternity do. But he still makes time for his kids, for his love, for his friends. One such friend is Keven Keller, a Senator who wishes to support victims of a recent shooting at the Southport Mall with a fundraiser. Everyone Archie has met is at Pops, now owned by its number one customer, Jughead Jones. With so many familiar faces, it’s as if Archie’s life is flashing before his eyes. It’s hard to image that it’s been twenty years since Archie made a simple decision. Heads or Tails? A or B? Betty or Veronica? But the shooter was also there. It is fortunate that he was only able to fire once, aiming at Senator Keller. But the bullet does not make it to its intended target. Instead, Archie Andrews is shot in the chest. He doesn’t live long. His final words are spoken to Betty and Veronica: “…I’ve always loved you…” It remains to this day unclear who he was talking to. He dies in the arms of Jughead Jones. Such is the price of leaving Eternity. Eventually, the reaper claims us all. So it goes.
It's 2015. The zombie apocalypse has been brought about by a selfish teen hitting a dog with his car out of spite. The last survivors of an Eternal Riverdale find themselves adrift in a world hostile to their existence. One of their own has been murdered. They must remain together or die alone. Archie is having a conversation with the ghost of Jughead about the life he has lived up to this moment. About the loves he’s been stringing along. He talks to his mother about the cruel secret at the heart of Riverdale and its once eternal status. The magic used to keep it so. The price for having magic as an ally. Eternal does not simply mean forever, but forever what was. A status quo that will never die, no matter how it spits in the eyes of justice. But the world has ended and the eternal teenagers are forced to grow up. Archie must make a decision. Heads or Tails? A or B? Betty or Veronica? He chooses the former. The consequences of this act will be forever lost to time. So it goes.
It's still 2015. For some reason, sharks are now in tornados. Apparently, Archie ends up with Cheryl Blossom. I don’t even…
It’s 2018. Or maybe it’s 1941. There’s a war going on all around the world. Pearl Harbor has recently been attacked. Many men are being drafted into service for the sequel to the war that ended all war. Among the men to volunteer, naturally, is Archie Andrews, the all American boy. Before he left, he chose to be with his sweetheart, Betty Cooper. But as with so many wars, not everyone made it back. Archie almost didn’t. But eternity always welcomes back the All American boy. It has an investment in the American project, after all. Its investment does not extend to crafty tricksters like Reggie Mantle, Jewish boys like Harold Cohen, or minor figures like Susan Miller, Joseph Flynn, or Michael Brown. They are not the best of Eternity. They do not get to be saved by the God in the Machine. They are just people. Ordinary, wonderful people, but people nonetheless.
It’s 2019. Archie Andrews has made a deal with the devil in defiance of Eternity. The specifics of this deal are unknown, as this information was gleamed from the subtext of Betty seeing Archie and Veronica share an intimate moment. But a satanic conspiracy is brewing under the surface of Riverdale. One whose implications are deadly and center themselves around the Blossom triplets. It is unclear what happens as a result of this conspiracy, though I have my suspicions.
It’s still 2019. Riverdale was invaded by a singular alien, which resulted in everyone except for Betty and Veronica to die in increasingly gruesome and horrific ways. In order to undo this, Betty, Veronica, and the alien they… coerced into being their boy toy travel up Memory Lane so they might change the past. But Memory Lane leads only to a different Riverdale where everyone is hot, young, and modern. Aliens invade and kill almost everyone (they’re all brought back by the devil) and Betty and Veronica cope with their irrelevance by falling in love and moving to New York City, finally growing up and becoming real people. They honestly don’t miss being eternal teenagers. They’re genuinely happy for the next generation. That is, after all, the whole point of growing up: letting those who come next grow into themselves while providing a helping hand.
It's still 2019. Or maybe it’s 1955. The Archies are a hit band making their way further and further up the charts. There’s no time for romance when fears of irrelevancy are always looming. Sure, Archie’s in a relationship with Veronica, but there’s no spark to the romance. None that was there in the courting. None that was there outside of the fame and popularity. Some days, it feels like he’s selling his soul to the Devil. Especially when he’s alone. It is simple to surmise Eternity around Archie Andrews. But as with most simple things, it is the furthest from the truth. The truth is that Eternity is the people you meet along the way. It’s Betty and Veronica and Reggie and Jughead and Moose and Midge and Josie and the Pussycats and Sabrina the Teenage Witch and that Wilkins kid and so many other people that make up a life. Eternity isn’t a solo, it’s an ensemble. More than just one person, it needs people. Ordinary, wonderful people, but people nonetheless. However, in 1955, Archie sold his soul to the devil in exchange for Fame and glory, rejecting people in favor of being the solo hero. The All American Boy. But he found no happiness in being just another commodity to be bought and sold and bought again. So when the contract expired, he escaped. And alongside him was his one true love, Veronica Lodge, both driving off. It is unknown whatever happened to Archie Andrews in 1955. Did he die? Did he fade away? Did he become someone new? Perhaps the unanswered questions are the best ones to find.
It's 2021. After several life changing events in Riverdale, including the Blossom’s biological father holding prom hostage, a car crash resulting in Betty almost dying, and Jughead coming out as asexual, things are returning to a new status quo. The students are returning home from summer vacation, and Archie has a secret. The secret becomes more and more apparent as Archie ignores the various romantic interests he’s had over the years, notably Josie, Cheryl, Betty (whom he tried going out with, but it didn’t pan out), and Veronica (who broke up with Archie so he could be with Betty). Instead, his heart is taken by a magical girl named Sabrina. He ends up bungling it up because he’s not into magic.
It’s 2023. A newer interpretation of Eternity where everyone is hot, young, and modern is coming to an end. One that flips the script of what is known, altering the shape into being something akin to Twin Peaks by way of Dawson’s Creek. A Stranger Things for people who lack patience for the fetishism of an 80s that never was. There have been many romances for Archie and the gang (including, most controversially, Jughead/Betty). The ultimate conclusion of this Eternity, which itself rejected an eternal nature in favor of a more finite one, had Archie end up with Betty, Veronica, and Jughead. It doesn’t last forever, of course. As the kids grew up, they went their separate ways. Veronica became a producer in Hollywood, Archie became a construction worker and amateur writer, Jughead moved to New York to publish Jughead’s Madhouse Magazine, as did Betty, who published the influential and feminist She Says Magazine, both to a high degree of influence. In truth, there is really only one ending a world outside of Eternity can offer. One way this story goes. They all lived happily ever after. And then, they died. So it goes.
It's 2024. We are once again stepping outside of Eternity. Archie is marrying Surbhi, after years of being a complete hot mess due to messing up basically every single one of his relationships. His inability to make a simple decision (Heads or Tails? A or B? Betty or Veronica?) led to his ruin. But ruins can be built upon. Things fall apart outside of Eternity, but the dirt of entropy allows things to grow. Betty became a doctor, Veronica went into the family business, and Ethel became a well-respected author and found a love of her own. Everyone grew up in ways that ultimately allowed them to complement who they wanted to be. Even Archie, who joined the Pussycats on tour and made his music career work out, grew up. Life moves on when outside of Eternity. Even our most humble of supporting characters can grow into stars in their own right.
It's still 2024. The demons of Hell are rising up to devour the human world. They have possessed so many of Archie’s friends with the intent of bringing death and dismay to the world. To have a fighting chance, Archie makes a deal with Madame Satan for power. Power comes in the form of a demonic presence by the name of Alistair. Lots of people die, culminating in Archie submitting to the demon’s power so that he might kill the demonic Betty and Veronica. Archie kills Jughead because Alistair has completely overwhelmed him. The demon ends up with Madame Satan. It is perhaps best to remember that Eternity is not necessarily a cage. Or, perhaps more aptly, those who wish to destroy Eternity are not necessarily doing it with liberation for all in mind. Some simply want their own singular vision of Eternity to replace it.
It's still 2024. And once again we return to this. Tom King and Dan Parent are working on an Archie comic where it will be decided once and for all if Archie will choose Betty or Veronica. It’s been thirty years since Archie first made a decision in this regard. Or has it been only three? Or is this the first time such things have occurred. The shape of Eternity is vast and ever expanding, constraining, and evolving. Its true shape will never be seen. Only the general outline of the thing can be understood. And even then, with our fleeting existence, only the footprint it leaves behind.
But in any event, the second most interesting thing about The Decision is that Dan Parent is involved as an artist, but not as the writer. Out of all the figures involved with “What if Archie finally made a choice,” Parent is perhaps the most consistent. He was the architect behind the first Archie event comic,1994’s Love Showdown, wherein Archie finally makes a decision regarding his love life. He also wrote and drew its sequel, Love Showdown II, in 2004. In 2012, he did the follow-up to the “Archie Marries Veronica/Betty” arc, “Archie Marries Valerie.” And he did art for the inexplicable Sharknado crossover in 2015, where Archie is even more inexplicably paired up with Cheryl Blossom. So the author of the original Archie Makes a Decision story comes back thirty years later to do another Archie Makes a Decision story, only to not write it.
The move might be related to the most interesting part of this comic, writer Tom King (not to be confused with the author of The Operator, which appeared in the 2001 live action film adaptation of Josie and the Pussycats). This wouldn’t be the first time a comics person from the wider world of comics would take on the redhead. Indeed, Alex de Campi, Cullen Bunn, and Tom DeFalco each did their own spin on “What if Archie Made a Decision” stories, albeit in more Elseworlds fare (de Campi and Bunn especially). Indeed, Nick Spencer, when he took over the main Direct Market Archie comic from Mark Waid had the kid in a relationship with Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
King, however, is doing this in the space of more traditional Archie fare rather than other creators have opted. Which is rather surprising to a lot of comics fans. In the comics landscape, King has a reputation as a rather thorny writer who does deconstructions of semi-relevant characters in the context of the modern day, usually in relation to war, trauma, and toxic heteronormativity. What this ignores when it comes to King is that he is quite funny. (He is also one of the few Capes comics writers who is actually interested in the thorny complexities of sexuality, but that’s a whole other tangent) He has done a few comedy comics. Batman/Elmer Fudd, for example, pushes the noir archetypes that typically run around Gotham to the point of absurdism. The back up strips in his Wonder Woman run are some of the funniest stories about two kids trying to raise a third and the madness that follows. And his Booster Gold is great, fight me.
But at the same time, there’s always a twinge of discomfort with his work. Moreover, on a thematic level, his work is fascinated with the implications of a status quo. His first novel, A Once Crowded Sky, explored a superhero universe that had almost all of its heroes lose their powers, its main villain’s goal ultimately being a restoration of the status quo. His Batman work explored a man who threw himself into dangerous situations again, and again, and again, striving at long last for a meaningful change in his life. (It’s worth noting that King made a rejected pitch to DC to do a 12 issue series based around all their Archie knock offs. The nature of this pitch remains unknown.)
But perhaps most relevant by King to The Decision is Love Everlasting. Drawn by the exquisite Elsa Charretier, Love Everlasting follows the life of a woman named Joan Peterson who finds herself in a cycle of romances in the style of a 60s romance comic. One minute, it’s 1968 and a hippie named Joan Peterson meets a cop, whom she falls in love with. The next, it’s 1808 and the lady Joan Peterson meets a commoner, whom she falls in love with. An endless cycle of romances and love that never ends. And it’s hell. A cage forced upon Joan that she can never escape, no matter how hard she tries. The love that’s never fulfilled, that can never go beyond the story’s end, is a prison.
So then, why give Tom King an Archie Comic to write when Dan Parent is right there? Let us consider the actual book.
It’s… fine. It’s not that anyone here is phoning it in. You can feel the passion for the Archie comics and there are some truly delightful gags (my favorite are the Reggie sequence that almost makes you feel sorry for the jerk and the Sabrina page). King’s writing has a degree of wit and charm to it. I especially liked Archie expressing what he finds appealing in both Betty and Veronica that highlights the whole situation as a difficult decision rather than one with a clear and right answer. And Parent’s art works just well enough to pull off the material. Sure, he lacks the raw violence at the heart of DeCarlo’s characters, but Parent nevertheless has his own charm and wit that often works well with the characters. There are some truly delightful facial expressions and background gags (I particularly like the smile that remains on Archie’s face as he realizes that he has no idea how he’s going to choose between Betty and Veronica).
And yet, one never loses the sense that this feels like a six page gag comic stretched out to twenty-four pages. Sure, the size and scope of the comic wherein everyone in Riverdale is chasing after Archie, Jughead, and a coin—leading to the exact punchline you’re thinking of—is part of the joke. But it doesn’t feel like it goes far enough. The telling sequences are the two pages dedicated to various people in town reacting to the sheer stupidity of the premise of “Archie decides to flip a coin to decide who he’s going to choose.” Now, the idea of the sequence is sound, and could work twice. The problem is that the joke really lands if every panel in said sequence features a different character reacting, highlighting how big the stakes are of this moment as well as highlighting the diverse and interesting population of Riverdale. Instead, the comic opts to have only six characters react on each of the two pages. Sure, there are several pages of “Spot the obscure character” (though sadly not the always delightful Mr. Inferno or, to further highlight my era of Archie fandom, Lucinda, Dr. Beaumont, and Supreme Girl) and those six characters personalities are highlighted in their appearances in those two pages. But it nevertheless feels small. Not bad, just smaller than one would expect such a book to be.
So then, why does this comic exist? Well, the editor of the book gives an answer at the end of the book: they thought it’d be fun. Sure, there’s the cynical answer of “Hot shot comics writer gets involved with an old horse comic that’s been going for 80+ years,” but that feels disingenuous. Indeed, for all that it’s not a complete cavalcade of cameos, King and Parent show a love and appreciation for the characters.
And, in spite of my grousing, I had fun with it. It was a small, fun little comic farce about everyone chasing after a coin rolling down a hill. Sure, I have issues and I can’t help but imagine the Doc Shaner version of this comic (though, in fairness, I often imagine the Doc Shaner version of comics and wish it was reality), but I did ultimately like the comic. It’s fine. Not everything has to be a world shattering epic that redefines comics forever, that rocks the very core of Eternity itself. Sometimes, you just want to wander its streets and see all the people that linger throughout. Personally, I wouldn’t want to live there for my whole life. But I will admit to a fondness for it, if only for my childhood in supermarkets and pharmacies flipping through pages alongside the other books and comics that once lay on those shelves.
Is that not what this shade of Eternity is: A memory of a long lost time? When the worst struggles of the day were one’s relationships with friends, bullies, and all the other people you knew in town. When you could run around town all day looking for a dumb coin. Not everyone has this memory, and the memory feels like it’s fading away. One day, the engines of Eternity will dry up, regardless if some red headed kid makes a simple decision. A or B? Heads or Tails? Betty or Veronica?
We may never understand the world we live in, try as we might. Some of us write entire books of philosophy trying to engage with the theory of the universe, hoping against all hope that there is meaning beyond cogs and wheels. Others try to understand those cogs and wheels, use science to see the shape of things. Some even write overlong articles about comic books for children that requires hours of research to complete because I am a dumb, dumb person.
Some people claim to have a full understanding of the world and demand everyone agree with them about that understanding or else. But the truth, or at least as much of it as I’ve been able to gleam, is that it’s all contradictions. There is no one answer to the questions of humanity any more than there is Betty and Veronica. You can make a case for one over the other. Indeed, you could very well make a final case of the matter.
But why would you?
The fun is in the dilemma. The point isn’t that Archie ultimately makes a decision about the matter. He has frequently chosen either Betty or Veronica or any of the other female supporting cast of Riverdale throughout the various Archie comics. What draws us in is the sheer absurdity of the situation. It is akin to the work of Rumiko Takahashi, and in particular that of Ranma ½.
The world is insane. It’s full of magical teenagers, wacky bands, jerks who are full of themselves, superheroes, angels, demons, vampires, and so many other weird and interesting things. But at its heart is a relationship between lovers that will never be resolved. Decisions will be made that will seem definitive, but the resolution will never come. Even when we reach the end, it’s clear that there will be more to follow.
And that, ultimately, is what Eternity is: a rejection of endings. Not a crass “What happens next” or the like, but an understanding that nothing ever ends. Something new is always going to happen that will change things. There is no such thing as an End to History. Time may run out for one species, but nothing is ever won. No one wins forever. Eternity, then, is not some ship in a bottle, left stagnant forever and always. Eternity is making new ships, even if it’s with old parts, and watching them sail off. Sure, sometimes the ships will sink. The people you thought would work out forever simply don’t. It might have even been bad for the both of you and you’re both better off with other people. But it’s having that relationship, that time sailing the neverending ocean blue, that makes it all worthwhile.
I've heard that I'm on the road to purgatory
And I don't like the sound of that
I believe in love and I live my life accordingly
But I choose to let the mystery be
-Iris DeMent, Let the Mystery Be
